Starting is Everything

I have always known to some capacity, from the time I was a child dancing around the living room or locking herself in a closet with a little tape recorder for all her songs and stories, that I am meant to create. Whether that be in singing and composing song melodies, drawing or painting, acting, or writing, or whatever else I'm drawn to artistically. It all feeds my soul. Makes me feel like me.

But I have not always trusted that.

I have also known for awhile now that I am supposed to add blogger to my collection of hats, but I am only just now finally responding to call of it. Why? There are many reasons, but the most simple reason is fear. Fear in several different forms.

Including the fear and feeling of embarrassment, of worrying about what other people might think.. How can I start a blog now? I've told all these people over a YEAR ago that I was starting a blog, and been thinking about it even longer. How embarrassing. What's the point of even starting now?

In fact, adding to shame of this, is the fact that I started my first blog post over a YEAR ago as well. I became consumed with the excitement and motivation of the New Year in 2015 and thought "This is it! This is the year it will all happen!" Can you relate? So I wrote the first paragraph of my "first blog post" that January 2015 in all the excitement when I then felt so inspired. And I want to share it with you now.

"This year celebrating New Years: It wasn't fancy, there was no party this time, no countdown, or general hoopla to usher it in. And yet, it was my best new year's yet. A moment where I could feel deep down, a REAL change. Not a hope or a glimmer of what could be, but somewhere deep down a voice, a KNOWING that it's my time. I feel so excited as I write this. It just comes pouring out, like all of this has been bottled up inside me for so long. All this creativity is exploding out of me. Happy new year! and happy new blog!"

Yeahh "Happy New Blog"......

Except that did not happen. Because life happened, and things got pushed. Giving me time to stall, to let the fears crawl back in and then it was spring. "Well I can't post this NOW, it's not January" Heaven forbid! I And I held on to that because January was such a perfect time to post and I had already started my blog post then! How ideal to start a blog on New Year's! There could be no other way right?

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