Life Lessons From a Little Mermaid
Anyone who knows me, knows my love of Disney runs deep. And “The Little Mermaid” is probably my all time favorite. To this day, whenever I hear the first strains of “Part of Your World”, it always gets me. There is something magical about that score by Alan Menken and the late Howard Ashman, and it’s a huge part of how I discovered my own connection to music and melody.
And Ariel is my favorite princess, a dreamer and an explorer. I have always identified with her sense of wonder and deep seated curiosity, her joy of treasure collecting, and her longing for this other world and something more.
But recently, I’ve realized there’s even more to it!
I was attending a business conference for creatives and entreprenuers, and Nikki Elledge Brown, a copywriter and podcaster, was one of the guest speakers.
Nikki was giving a little pep talk, encouraging us to share our message, and talking a lot about that little thing called “resistance”, and how it tends to hold us back in every way. How resistance truly keeps us from sharing our voice with the world. Then she sort of laughed and said,
“I call mine Ursula because she stole my voice.”
She continued on, but I didn’t hear anything else that was said for the next few minutes, because my mind was racing as I started scribbling furiously in my notebook. YES.
My mind suddenly filled with images of Ursula, stylish and boasting, taunting and torturing Ariel, flashes of those sinister hands reaching down Ariel’s throat and silencing her, taking away the glowing orb that is her voice. Ursula sucking it eagerly into that seashell she wears around her neck in constant mockery, her triumphant grin as she does so….
And I realized that Ursula has been following me around most of my life!!
I thought back to all the years where I've kept silent. Not sharing what was in my head or on my heart. Keeping my voice to myself. ALL the music I’ve written but haven’t completed or shared. All the possible content. All the ideas. All the times I felt maybe I should step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there, but just didn’t seem to have it in me. Something kept stopping me.
THIS is what I’ve been struggling with for so long. This thing. This resistance, that was holding me back every step of the way. I knew what it was. And I for sure I knew it was there, but I would always find reasons to justify it’s presence.
I never really looked at it in the light of what it was actually doing, and what this resistance was taking from me.
I never truly saw how it was STEALING MY VOICE.
But there it was, in one moment of clarity, a passing comment in that conference.
And suddenly, I saw HER, so clearly in all her voluptuous purple, tentacled glory…..
Ursula the sea witch
Of course! THAT’S who I’ve been facing all this time. (It’s so obvious now, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before) She has a name. And here is the thing that is so powerful about that.
Because when you decide to “name” your resistance, or that persistent voice in your head, then you start to take away all that power, and the intense crazy hold that it has over you. Once you can begin to SEPARATE yourself from it, you start to see it for what it actually is, much more clearly.
And in this case, naming it after one of the most infamous cartoon villains of all time with a penchant for stealing voices, just makes sense.
Because Ursula is the ENEMY. She is resistance, procrastination, fear, excuses, whatever you want to call her. She represents everything that is keeping you from using your “voice” Right. Now.
And if that is the case, you can’t let Ursula WIN right?
What, are you actually going to stand for that? LET her take your voice!?
Of course not! Because you know you’re the hero right??
But Ursula won’t make it easy for you. She is cocky, calculating, and incredibly manipulative.
Just like your resistance.
1. Resistance Acts Like Your FRIEND
Remember how Ursula pretends in the beginning to be helping Ariel? Like she only has the little mermaid’s best interests at heart?
“Poor sweet child!”....
How many times have you felt your resistance might actually be helping you? Protecting you in some way?? Maybe you feel like it’s there to keep you from making some massive mistake or starting something you’re not actually ready for? You think the resistance is on your side, and you don’t even notice what she’s actually setting you up for, because…..
2. Resistance Will DECEIVE You
Ursula does not play fair. Remember how she transformed herself into the character “Vanessa” in order to trick Ariel, Prince Eric, and everyone else around them? She absolutely cheated and LIED to get what she wanted. She can take whatever form that suits her and her agenda.
Your resistance has the ability to masquade as many other thoughts and feelings, that are so convincing that you don’t even realize what’s going on, and make you spend years questioning yourself and your abilities completely, blaming lack of time, talent and a host of other things. It can employ whatever sneaky tactics it needs to keep you stuck and voiceless. And it will.
3. Resistance Holds You CAPTIVE
Your resistance not only wants to keep you silent, but wants to keep you as it’s prisoner! Remember all the merpeople Ursula turned into worms in her lair? Just shells of their former selves, and who they could be. She OWNS you. Contract and all. And what have you signed over when you agree to her terms, to let her run the show?
I believe that Ursula drives too hard a bargain.
So what can we do about it?? How can we fight back?
First SEE her. Really see Ursula. See her exactly for the wicked sea witch she is, and do not be duped by her or her many disguises.
Be ready for it. Be aware of her
DON’T let her dazzle you with her charm and trickery! Notice when she comes sauntering in..
When you feel you’re starting to question yourself and what you have to say, what you have to give.
When you let fear get in the way, and convince yourself you can’t move forward.
When you let anything stop you at all in pursuit of what you know you want.
When you feel there’s never enough time or a whole host of excuses..
When you feel like you just can’t take a step
Every time you start to question yourself, or your “voice” she wins.
When you let HER voice get in your head, that’s when she’s stealing yours!
Remember YOU are the hero. And it’s time to own that role.
Your job is to break. The. spell. Snatch that nautilis shell off her neck and SMASH IT to the ground. Break it into a million little pieces, freeing yourself from that control.
Face. her. Find your voice. TAKE IT BACK. The best way is to use it. And trust it.
It does not have to be complicated. Little ways count too! When you have something on your heart, absolutely share it. When you feel like something needs to be put out there, do it! If you’re holding back and a little fearful to do something, just take the first step forward. Even if it’s small. Even if it’s tiny.
Every step forward matters. Every inch past your resistance counts.
Use your voice
Your words, your thoughts, your ideas, your heart, your desires, your passion, your song. Get it out there. Just share. Start slowly, simply. Throw the paint on the canvas, start that thing, stop overthinking it, stop letting Ursula win!
And one final note. Because while I was in the middle of writing this, something crazy happened and I actually, literally lost my voice for awhile during a cold! It just completely disappeared, and I couldn’t speak or sing! Feeling that frustration of not being able to use my voice at all, was a glaring reminder that this is what is happening all the time in reality, every time I put things off for whatever reason that I know I’m meant to do, or meant to share.
Your voice is a gift. It’s your message, it’s your song. You can’t just let it be stolen or extinguished. You must protect it.
Besides, we all know how the story goes! In the end, despite repeated attempts to silence and control her, Ariel triumphs over the wicked sea witch, and reclaims her voice and her dreams. And Ursula the sea witch is ultimately destroyed. So this is a reminder for all of us, not to try to change the ending!
Confront your own Ursula, and let me know in the comments below, how it goes!
Love, Laurel